My alter-ego is a caped woman who rides around on a broomstick dis-etiquettizing the world and pulling off the hairpieces of the likes of Dear Prudence and Miss Manners, and for the most part I think my alter-ego is a sensible woman. I call her Antietiquette. So what if your hosts ask you to take off your shoes when you come in the door, or if your kids aren't invited to a wedding, or if your dad is dating a new woman within a few months of your mother's death and the proper time period hasn'...

To my dearest checkbook, It's been days since I've seen you, my dear friend. I know things haven't been going well with us--I keep trying to balance you and you keep not letting me. This latest episode is the vacation you decided to take April 14. Now you know I had to pay taxes this year, thanks to me working out of state and my state wanting income tax (bloody thieves they are). I know you needed a break--who can blame you? But I must ask that next time you disappear, you'd please let me...

To my dearest checkbook, It's been days since I've seen you, my dear friend. I know things haven't been going well with us--I keep trying to balance you and you keep not letting me. This latest episode is the vacation you decided to take April 14. Now you know I had to pay taxes this year, thanks to me working out of state and my state wanting income tax (bloody thieves they are). I know you needed a break--who can blame you? But I must ask that next time you disappear, you'd please let me...

I was in Old Navy and she was the twitty salesgirl folding clothes in the dressing rooms. I walked in with one item and asked for a room. Actually, I walked in while she and two of her coworkers talked about the dumbest movies they'd ever seen before I finally got their attention. She said, "Oh, there's not a line" so I started walking to a room. Then she said, "Well, wait. How many items do you have?" I held up my hanger. She said, "Let me get a number" and gave me a number to put...

Dear Blockbuster video franchise, How do I hate you? Let me count the ways. I hate the way your movies cost $4.10, whether it's a new release or an old release for five nights. I hate the way you gave me a scratched DVD last time I was at my parents' place and my dad and I decided to have some Bond-ing time, if you know what I mean. I hate the way you gave me $1 credit when I explained to you how we could not watch the Bond DVD. I hate the way you put the movie we returned to y...

There's a PSA on television about parental involvement that leaves the viewer with the impression that you should grill your children on where they're going and where they've been and what they've been doing and on, and on, ad nauseum. In the PSA, a girl says something to the effect of, "Mom, you read my diary--my innermost thoughts. ...Thanks." Yeah, right. Like I'd want my mom reading about the stuff I thought about between ages 10 and, well, now. When I was six, I read my sister's and ...

I watch the Today show from time to time, and it struck me this morning how commercialized every part of our lives are becoming. When you watch an NBA basketball game, what do you see on the backboard frame of the hoop? "NBA.com" What is our weather brought to us by? The local Dodge dealer. Who's telling us about the birthdays today? Smuckers. Think that magazine in the seat pocket is for your entertainment while you're on the plane? Nope, it's making money for the airline. Even ski slopes have ...

I'm mightily pissed off tonight. I've signed at least three contracts for the upcoming...thingy...event...and all of them basically say, "No, we won't give your money back even if you die or if your fiance dies or if the world ends" (and in any of those cases I don't think I'd much care about it), "NOR will we give your money back if we do a shoddy job and screw things up, or if we decide to spill acid on your negatives and throw D-CON in the punch bowl." And then all the money is due before t...

It was coming. You can't copy and paste from the Internet and get away with it in my class. I talked to her and gave her a letter, the "official" documentation, of which copies were sent to several prominant campus people. She tried to convince me to do anything but fail her, because failing this class means she's out of the college. So not only have I bummed her out, I've kicked her out, too. Excellent. You know what she said to me before she left? "I just want to know you don't think I'm...

Today I discovered a student who blatantly plagiarized something off the Internet and turned it in as his* own. According to my policy, I am supposed to fail him. This is the first time any student has plagiarized in a class from me, that I know of; and he's a good kid: smart, funny, though not a regular attendee by any means. I don't want to fail him but I promised I would at the beginning of class. And it's not like he didn't know my policy; it's there on the syllabus and I've referred to...

I'm not talking about a legal right; no one "owns" what happened on September 11. I guess I'm wondering if he has a moral right. If the terrorist attacks on that date were on America, then every American in some way owns a part of what happened then, Bush included. But is it an equal distribution of "right"? On the Today show, Katie Couric interviewed three women about Bush's campaign ads. Two of the three women felt Bush was profiting from Sept. 11, which is technically true if the ads ins...

Fiance and I went in for first ever pre-marital counseling session. First the nice bald man poked gently at our history, asking where we met, how we started dating, etc. That was fine and dandy and then he asked about the engagement. We both told the story, fiance deferring to me at one point because "I tell it better," says he. Then the counselor starts rifling through what turns out to be an invasive list of personal questions. I wanted to hide under the cushions on the couch. "Well," ...

I love a good bumper sticker, as long as it's not depreciating the value of my car. My favorite political one thus far is the following: "Republicans for Voldemort" Link and Link www.goats.com is the maker and I don't follow all their comic strips, but it's worth a gander (which is punny if you see the site). I'll vote for anyone but a Republican, or anyone but a Democrat, or anyone but Nader, whatever he is...

Saw "The Passion of the Christ" on Wednesday when it opened. Could have posted this sooner, but didn't because (a) I wanted to internalize the movie a bit more, and ( I'm at a place where the Internet is slower than my fiance's driving. Advance apologies for typos but the keyboard : monitor delay is a good three seconds sometimes, and I type really fast. Entered the theatre wondering about the merit of the anti-Semitism claims. Figured I'd give the movie a fair shot since I have general re...

I started reading through some of the religion vs. science posts. Not religion and science, mind you. I wasn't altogether pleased with the tones people took and the words they used to bolster their side of the debate. But then, why does it have to be one or the other? And why do people have to get on other people's backs about it? Neither camp explains everything about how life came to be as we know it today--not yet, at least. Me, I believe in God and I believe in evolution. Sure there...