To my dearest checkbook, It's been days since I've seen you, my dear friend. I know things haven't been going well with us--I keep trying to balance you and you keep not letting me. This latest episode is the vacation you decided to take April 14. Now you know I had to pay taxes this year, thanks to me working out of state and my state wanting income tax (bloody thieves they are). I know you needed a break--who can blame you? But I must ask that next time you disappear, you'd please let me...

To my dearest checkbook, It's been days since I've seen you, my dear friend. I know things haven't been going well with us--I keep trying to balance you and you keep not letting me. This latest episode is the vacation you decided to take April 14. Now you know I had to pay taxes this year, thanks to me working out of state and my state wanting income tax (bloody thieves they are). I know you needed a break--who can blame you? But I must ask that next time you disappear, you'd please let me...

Dear Grad School Admissions Dean, Why do I want to go to State University to pursue my further education? Well, to be honest, you're my backup school. I'd rather get a degree from an Ivy League but, to be honest again, my GRE scores aren't that great. So I'm hoping you're having a crappy admissions year and won't mind taking me. Sincerely, A.

Dear Grad School Admissions Dean, Why do I want to go to State University to pursue my further education? Well, to be honest, you're my backup school. I'd rather get a degree from an Ivy League but, to be honest again, my GRE scores aren't that great. So I'm hoping you're having a crappy admissions year and won't mind taking me. Sincerely, A.

If (and I do mean if, as I have no present plans to do so) I were to find myself e-jected from my blog, the following is my pre-mortem directive to be conducted post-mortem. An unnotarized copy resides with my legal counsel (a friend who hasn't been able to pass the bar) and in my fire-proof, flood-proof, bomb-proof, idiot-accessible safety deposit box. Just in case. (Note: Most likely my death would be a fast and painless suicide. I have little interest in drawing it out or taking people ...

If (and I do mean if, as I have no present plans to do so) I were to find myself e-jected from my blog, the following is my pre-mortem directive to be conducted post-mortem. An unnotarized copy resides with my legal counsel (a friend who hasn't been able to pass the bar) and in my fire-proof, flood-proof, bomb-proof, idiot-accessible safety deposit box. Just in case. (Note: Most likely my death would be a fast and painless suicide. I have little interest in drawing it out or taking people ...

Here's the link: Link Here's the initial report: BLOOMINGTON, Ind. - Monroe County Coroner David Toumey was hospitalized with a leg wound after accidentally shooting himself while trying to demonstrate gun safety. Toumey told The Herald-Times for a story published Saturday that he was demonstrating gun safety to some people at a Lake Monroe boat ramp about 11 p.m. Wednesday when he accidentally shot himself. He said that as he checked to make sure his weapon was unloaded, the...

Here's the link: Link Here's the initial report: BLOOMINGTON, Ind. - Monroe County Coroner David Toumey was hospitalized with a leg wound after accidentally shooting himself while trying to demonstrate gun safety. Toumey told The Herald-Times for a story published Saturday that he was demonstrating gun safety to some people at a Lake Monroe boat ramp about 11 p.m. Wednesday when he accidentally shot himself. He said that as he checked to make sure his weapon was unloaded, the...

I was in England during the 2000 presidential election and someone sent me this mass e-mail. Maybe you've seen it, maybe not. Anyway. It's funny. NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE To the citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all st...

I was in England during the 2000 presidential election and someone sent me this mass e-mail. Maybe you've seen it, maybe not. Anyway. It's funny. NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE To the citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all st...

Brother-in-law e-mailed me this one today. You gotta wonder if it’s the speechwriters or if, after all, it’s just Bush. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we," Bush said. "They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=544&ncid=703&e=6&u=/ap/20040805/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bushism

Brother-in-law e-mailed me this one today. You gotta wonder if it’s the speechwriters or if, after all, it’s just Bush. "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we," Bush said. "They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=544&ncid=703&e=6&u=/ap/20040805/ap_on_go_pr_wh/bushism

Damn it, with H gone this weekend on a boys-only camping trip*, got bored. Relief from boredom involved trip to store, chocolate followed by coffee followed by pina coladas with extra rum followed by hair dye and plastic gloves and bathroom mirror. Suffice it to say, the end result is, ah, hmm, well, it's red. Whereas formerly white towels are orangey-pink. Fortunately it washes out in 8 - 12, which means it will either wash out in 2 or never, ever. Thinking will leave it 'til H gets h...

Damn it, with H gone this weekend on a boys-only camping trip*, got bored. Relief from boredom involved trip to store, chocolate followed by coffee followed by pina coladas with extra rum followed by hair dye and plastic gloves and bathroom mirror. Suffice it to say, the end result is, ah, hmm, well, it's red. Whereas formerly white towels are orangey-pink. Fortunately it washes out in 8 - 12, which means it will either wash out in 2 or never, ever. Thinking will leave it 'til H gets h...