My bloody father likes to elicit reactions from me. In short, he likes to piss me off, then say, relax, geez, you're so uptight, to which I respond by walking away or ignoring him (a rabid fear of heights prevents me from taking the high road). Today we're watching football, my team fails to block a goal, my bloody father says oh bravo! let's see that again, and I say oh hell, must shower, and turn the telly off in a fit of disgust. Bloody Father says Tullola, that was very rude. I take the high...
1. Remember passwords to all e-mail, blog, bank, ATM, etc. accounts 2. Decide if Vile Boyfriend should be sacked for failing to remember to come to family dinner, which am currently hiding from in effort to avoid showing red face, puffy eyes, and extremely pissed off mood 3. Stop writing in Helen Fielding/Bridget Jones's Diary style 4. Stop reading Helen Fielding/Bridget Jones's Diary-like books in effort to (1) read more important books and (2) sound more knowledgeable about the stuff ...
Ah, Memorial Day weekend...that time of year when we all hit the road and then get pissed off at other drivers (and cops, those sneaky bastards). And although I was tempted to raise the finger in salute to these many stupid drivers I encountered, I did not. (Pats self on back.) But now I am. I was trying to pass a car in a bona fide passing zone, but it was on a hill and there was an oncoming car cresting the hill from the other side, and I do not have a powerful engine and so did not want...
I mean, they must. If they didn't want me to elope, they would never have told me how to do my own wedding. What's with saying, "T, you need to have red roses instead of orchids in your bouquet," or "Canned music? No, you must spend $3000 on a DJ who will play the wrong songs, anyway" or "We know you drew up the guest list, but we thought we'd invite 30 extra people and not tell you, all of whom live in the area and so are bound to come. What? There's a limit to the number of people who ca...
My alter-ego is a caped woman who rides around on a broomstick dis-etiquettizing the world and pulling off the hairpieces of the likes of Dear Prudence and Miss Manners, and for the most part I think my alter-ego is a sensible woman. I call her Antietiquette. So what if your hosts ask you to take off your shoes when you come in the door, or if your kids aren't invited to a wedding, or if your dad is dating a new woman within a few months of your mother's death and the proper time period hasn'...
Today I discovered a student who blatantly plagiarized something off the Internet and turned it in as his* own. According to my policy, I am supposed to fail him. This is the first time any student has plagiarized in a class from me, that I know of; and he's a good kid: smart, funny, though not a regular attendee by any means. I don't want to fail him but I promised I would at the beginning of class. And it's not like he didn't know my policy; it's there on the syllabus and I've referred to...
Awhile back I was in line at Starbucks (I know it's the devil and I don't go there often) and asked for my drink and a venti (x-large) ice water to go, as we were setting out for another interview and would be on the road for many hours. The oh-so-helpful girl behind the counter said, "I'm sorry, but we can't give you a venti ice water to go. We can give you a tall [small] --would you like that?" No, you idiot, I'm driving a thousand miles and I'd like a venti. "Okay," I said reasonably...
Today I had a one-day temp job in a very small town about 30 minutes away. It didn't seem so bad--just answer the phones in a lawyer's office--so I said okay. They seemed desperate to find someone on such short notice. What they didn't tell me was that I would be temping for the Devil. Let's call him Larry. Larry seems like a nice, lawyerly name. Also I have a deadbeat lawyer uncle named Larry, so it fits. I got there at 8:30 and walked in the front door and came face-to-face with a ...
Um, here's a site that tells you what type of hat you wear. I don't wear hats often but apparently my type would be a bowler hat. (See below) One of the nice things about this quiz is that you're not pigeonholed into just one answer--you can mark more than one, which is excellent for indecisive people like me. Quiz.ravenblack.net: Link (I have no idea whether the ravenblack of that site is the same as our own local celeb.) I am a Bowler Hat . I'm very proper, often ...
Top 10 ways to get into the private college of your choice (1 = most important, etc.)) 10. If nothing else on the list, get near-perfect scores on your SATs 09. Apply to colleges where your familiy members have attended (preferably also colleges where they've not been kicked out, as I learned) 08. Be a valedictorian 07. Be international. Or just have an international address where you can mail your application from. Or be born in a different country, even if they didn't grant you citize...
I'm a big fan of pretty much all forms of poker, and admit that I succumb to the current rage, Texas Hold 'em. Great game. Lots of strategy and mind games-- --which all turn to utter CRAP when playing with beginners. For one, there's beginner's luck. Last night we were teaching, teaching for crying out loud, our friends to play, and H went out nearly immediately betting on pocket aces (and another on the table, so three Aces) when the beginner got a flush (pocket hearts and three hear...
Just now, my fiance is next to me on the couch, sleeping. Sleeping AND snoring. We're getting married in two weeks and I never knew he did this, and I'm a light sleeper; this doesn't bode well for Forever. Do I roll him over? Nudge him? He's not fat, not got asthma/allergies/anything like that.... Am I doomed to sleeplessness for the rest of my life, or will I get used to it? Or will we be in seprarate beds by anniversary #1? Holy crap, what have I gotten myself into?
Two of my freshers handed in their tests today with some comment about, "Man, that was hard " and then walked out the room into the tiled, resounding hallway and remarked (so that I, their instructor, and the rest of the class) could hear, "And it's only a 100-level class!" Probably some swear words in there. For two quarters I've enjoyed my students, I've challenged them, and hopefully I've made the class somewhat fun (it's a general studies requirement, so of course they're not going to...
It was coming. You can't copy and paste from the Internet and get away with it in my class. I talked to her and gave her a letter, the "official" documentation, of which copies were sent to several prominant campus people. She tried to convince me to do anything but fail her, because failing this class means she's out of the college. So not only have I bummed her out, I've kicked her out, too. Excellent. You know what she said to me before she left? "I just want to know you don't think I'm...
Taco Bell, my biggest competition for my husband's palate, has this fairly new greeting at the drive-through: "Hi, how are you doing," the monotonic minimum wage worker asks. It's not a question. Not, "Welcome to Taco Bell. May I take your order?" But one has to wonder about the new greeting, do they really care? No, they don't. They want the money. Taco Bell is not and never will be known for its friendly workers; it will, alas, always be known for hiring minimum wage high school, c...