Dear Washington State Trial Lawyers Association,
I've seen your ads on TV and read the text of initiative I-336 that you would like to pass this fall in my state. I've read the tear-jerking stories of patients who are the victims of medical malpractice and how you've made their lives better by giving them millions of dollars, money that they would never have ordinarily seen in their lifetimes. I admire your marketing efforts and your fundraising abilities. How amazing to be able to raise that much money so quickly! I wonder where it all comes from?
At any rate, let me cut to the chase: I'd like to make a donation to your cause in the amount of -$250,000. I think that should cover the noneconomic damages, e.g. pain and suffering of having to listen to your ads. It should also be enough to cover my economic costs, e.g. weapons and ammo required to hunt you all down and make you listen to an ordinary citizen, not another person whose name ends with comma JD (, JD). What with the economic trouble we're having, it should also cover my gas mileage and lost work compensation.
Thank you for your time; I accept PayPal.
Sincerestly,
Angloesque
P.S. I will settle for arbitration, though I doubt you will.