And she lived happily ever after.

"after" meaning after her last husband died.

Published on December 18, 2004 By Angloesque In Personal Relationships

Once upon a time there was a Bride. Bride got engaged to Groom. As soon as the ring was on her finger, Bride knew she wanted to get married at the rooftop restaurant where Groom proposed: under the stars, with a string quartet and Pachabel's Canon in D and a fluffy tulle gown and a seven-course dinner of lobster and baby cow.

When she contacted Rooftop's manager, he said, "Sure, no problem, but our guest limit is 50 people."

In spite of coming from highly procreative families, Bride decided to get married there anyway. Groom got browbeat into agreeing, especially when Bride showed him the comments other Naughties* had made about him not letting her "live her dream."

Bride and Groom's mothers each drew up their guest lists, gave them to Bride, who took out a bright red Sharpie and crossed out the names of everyone who wasn't (a) immediate family, or (

best friends of Bride and Groom.

There went family friends, aunts and uncles, and the people who cared about Bride and Groom and had helped raise and care for them.

Now this did not help her relationship with the ILs, but Bride didn't care--they'd just have to deal with it. It was HER wedding, not THEIRS.

Not to totally exclude these people, and also to receive more presents, Bride sent out wedding announcements the day of the wedding to those who weren't invited.

But Bride was happy. She had her 50-person wedding at the location she loved, and she still got presents from those stupid enough to still love her.

Six years of fewer friends and not getting along with the ILs later, Bride and Groom divorced. Groom finally realized how selfish Bride was and wanted nothing to do with her. So he called up some of the people not invited and got re-acquainted with them. He even met an old friend and started dating her.

Bride returned to thekNot (or maybe she never left) to rant about her horrible ex-husband, and everyone agreed Groom was crazy and spineless and thoughtless and a baby-eating communist and why did she ever marry him in the first place, and the only answer she could come up with was that she wanted to have her dream wedding.

*ref: theknot.com, or "knotties" being those who post there.

Comments

Ravenblack

on Dec 18, 2004

>> Not to totally exclude these people, and also to receive more presents, Bride sent out wedding announcements the day of the wedding to those who weren't invited.

huh! Around here, it would have been about the money. We give red packets containing an auspicious sum of money to the bride and groom.

>> she still got presents from those stupid enough to still love her.

>> knotties

There seems to be a lot of silliness going on there.

"OMG OMG OMG !!!!! "

lmao....

BlueDev

on Dec 18, 2004

Wow, just so much going wrong from the beginning. Compromise, compromise, compromise. It is the only way to go.

Angloesque

on Dec 18, 2004

OMG OMG OMG !!!!!

Yup. You pegged it. Have you been there before? Silliness. And stupidity. I actually posted this over there and am waiting to see how badly I get flamed. Perhaps I shoudl borrow your flame-retardant suit? (Still of my favorite blogs, btw.)

Compromise, compromise, compromise.

Compromises always seem like situations where no one's happy. That's not always the case, but sometimes. (So H lets me get my way and then I'm happy; this blog is apparently my future. J/K)

Yes. Compromises are important. I'm just not very good at them.

-A.

Ravenblack

on Dec 19, 2004

I checked out the site after reading your blog. *G* The titles of the posts told me enough...though I did unfortunately opened a few pointless ones.

>> I actually posted this over there and am waiting to see how badly I get flamed.

Nice nick. I don't think you will get flamed much for this, afterall your point is valid. But you've got two or three who don't seem to get your article, so something might set off. Flame retardant suit is hanging by the wall if you need it.

You even have a statement there that isn't here.

>>Weddings should be real, not dreams.

What's not to get?

Dusk411

on Dec 20, 2004

The thing is, weddings are only one day!

I think it has a lot to do with the Knot brides wanting the attention focused only on them: noticing how beautiful they look in the gown, having people do other things for you, etc. and wanting their Prince Charming to whisk them away into a carriage. They also seem to have unreal expectations of marriage. It's thought of as a fairytale and once the real work begins, they are stunned and think "the marriage is over!"

chiprj

on Dec 20, 2004

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This is good stuff. Even better because it sounds so much like a fairy tale gone wrong, and yet, is reality... Never been to this site but it sounds like maybe I'd enjoy a visit. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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