Okay, see, isn't is usually the *girl* who wants to have/plan/revolve life around a wedding? It's the girl 'cause she wants a dress, flowers, pretty hair, pictures, etc., right? That's what conventional stereotypes tell me. They also whisper in my ear that I could use more propriety and that I could stand to wear nylons once in awhile, which is why I hate conventional wisdom and feminine stereotypes AND, as it happens, wedding planning.

So fiance and I are getting married, theoretically in June. I'm begging to elope. Weddings are a racket, and if you aren't offending people by not writing "and guest" on the invite, you're placating them by spending at least as much on cake as they did on that giftwrapped package the store sold them. Not just on cake, mind you; on a piece of cake.

But nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. (There, had to be immature for a minute.) Fiance wants to have a wedding "to make the family happy." Now he's the math major, not me, but here's my estimate: Us + way too much money + uncomfortable event + cake + hundreds of thank you cards to write = happy family (after receiving the thank you cards)

That family better know we love them when the day's over. Scratch that, FIANCE better know I love him, and I'm going through this because I love him. And his family. And mine, except possibly bloody father who will ... well, see my post on toasts.