(and only wrote in my blog)
20. Shut up. Please, for the love of everything pure and beautiful, SHUT UP.
19. Yes, sometimes I assign subjective grades, and sometimes I don't grade things as closely as I should. And it’s okay if you question me about grades—better than than bitching about it behind my back.
18. The word "while" is not a relative pronoun, like I told you, but rather is a subordinating conjunction. My bad.
17. I don't like some of you. No offense.
16. I think some of you are hilarious even though you earn Ds, so it makes me feel bad to give you bad grades.
15. I like summer vacation more than you do, if possible.
14. No, you don't intimidate me even though you're older and bigger than I am.
13. Yes, you do look like slut when you come to class wearing about four square inches of clothing.
12. And it is such a tragedy that you're required to attend worships and chapel at a private Christian college. The nerve of the administration, I tell ya....
11. If I see you use an apostrophe to make a singular noun plural again (i.e. "one's" as referring to several instead of "ones") I AM GOING TO FLUNK YOU.
10. If I see you not use an apostrophe in a contraction (i.e. "dont") I'M GOING TO FLUNK YOU.
9. It's been ten weeks. If you don't know what a thesis statement is by now, I'll still sign your drop slip.
8. Why the hell didn't you CLEP this class? You're wasting your time in a 100-level writing class.
7. Finals are hard on me, too. Once you're done with the test, you leave; I have to grade all of them.
6. Yes, I will fail you if your cell phone rings in class.
5. You think the cafeteria food is bad? Wait 'til you're cooking for yourself.
4. You write worse than I did at age 7.
3. I cried after you told me your grandfather died because it reminded me of when mine died, too.
2. I had a horrible night, too: My neighbors had a drunken party and there are ants all over my floor and I graded two sets of papers and didn't get to bed until 3 a.m., and my sister called to say that my dad was losing his job and my mom called to say that my grandmother is driving again (about two weeks after she put a guy in the ICU); I'm eating Pepcid like it's candy to take care of my ulcer and I have cramps again; the caterer upped the prices for the wedding and there's an error on the invitations. But hey, I understand: I'll be here at 8 a.m. but you go ahead and sleep in the back row. No problem.
1. How the hell did you pass high school?