Who did Diane Rehm sleep with to get her voice on radio? Listening to her is about as pleasant as massaging my ear with a cheese grater.

I vividly recall few things in grade school, but I do remember one Red Ribbon Week, which is the don't-do-drugs type of thing. You sign a pledge form and wear a red ribbon on your clothes all week, and then on Friday you tie ribbons on the fence to demonstrate to the neighborhood and all the parents that your school is one where the students are drug-free. Our teachers showed us pictures of the bad things that happen to your body or the car you drive when you were on drugs, including alcohol ...

Politicians lie? People are arrogant? Really??? Read any top political article's comments and see the people who point fingers and say, "It's the right wing nuts trying to spin things" or "Lefties are liberals" or "George Bush is a liar" or "John Kerry is a cheater" or any variation. What it boils down to is that the accusations made by each side at the other side are pointless. It should be pretty obvious that spin happens. (That'd make a great bumper sticker...) We have people who want t...

Today I had a one-day temp job in a very small town about 30 minutes away. It didn't seem so bad--just answer the phones in a lawyer's office--so I said okay. They seemed desperate to find someone on such short notice. What they didn't tell me was that I would be temping for the Devil. Let's call him Larry. Larry seems like a nice, lawyerly name. Also I have a deadbeat lawyer uncle named Larry, so it fits. I got there at 8:30 and walked in the front door and came face-to-face with a ...

Um, here's a site that tells you what type of hat you wear. I don't wear hats often but apparently my type would be a bowler hat. (See below) One of the nice things about this quiz is that you're not pigeonholed into just one answer--you can mark more than one, which is excellent for indecisive people like me. Quiz.ravenblack.net: Link (I have no idea whether the ravenblack of that site is the same as our own local celeb.) I am a Bowler Hat . I'm very proper, often ...

My alter-ego is a caped woman who rides around on a broomstick dis-etiquettizing the world and pulling off the hairpieces of the likes of Dear Prudence and Miss Manners, and for the most part I think my alter-ego is a sensible woman. I call her Antietiquette. So what if your hosts ask you to take off your shoes when you come in the door, or if your kids aren't invited to a wedding, or if your dad is dating a new woman within a few months of your mother's death and the proper time period hasn'...

My bloody father likes to elicit reactions from me. In short, he likes to piss me off, then say, relax, geez, you're so uptight, to which I respond by walking away or ignoring him (a rabid fear of heights prevents me from taking the high road). Today we're watching football, my team fails to block a goal, my bloody father says oh bravo! let's see that again, and I say oh hell, must shower, and turn the telly off in a fit of disgust. Bloody Father says Tullola, that was very rude. I take the high...

After months of groaning over the gas portion of the Visa bill, H and I headed down to the Toyota dealer and traded in our Honda CRV for a yuppiemobile: A gas-conserving, environmentally-more-friendly used Toyota Prius. And while we've probably been happier--our wedding, say, or the honeymoon--we're pretty damn pleased with our decision and the foreseeable future. However, given that we've had the car, uh, for two days, a more complete review will take place later. Here's a brief rundown of t...

GENERAL NOTICE: Pigeonhole for sale. Measures 9" X 11" X 6". Only one owner. A few years old, lots of wear. Fairly uncomfortable but just right for college students and 20-somethings looking to be misaligned, ignored, marginalized, and swatted aside for their silly idealism. Reply if interested. $10. Free shoehorn.

The orientation to my new job takes four weeks. FOUR WEEKS! I know NASA programmers who have shorter orientations than this. Furthermore, I get to sit through ten hours of training to use a program I already know, own, and use often. And here's the kicker: Today one of my many, many supervisors sat me down for two and a half hours and READ THE STUPID STAFF MANUAL OUT LOUD TO ME, IN A TONE NOT UNLIKE THAT WHICH YOU SENSE WHEN YOU READ IN ALL CAPS. I wanted to die by the end of the day. Or shoo...

Human gnome project. This one came to my attention whilst perusing the slush pile at the publishing house I worked at for awhile. The guy was writing a very serious book on the Human Genome Project, and that typo was in his first sentence. If it were in some far back page of the manuscript, I could forgive it. But the first sentence of the first paragraph of the first page? C'mon. I'll give him points for letting the manuscript stick in my head, though I don't think we ended up pu...

I'm a big fan of pretty much all forms of poker, and admit that I succumb to the current rage, Texas Hold 'em. Great game. Lots of strategy and mind games-- --which all turn to utter CRAP when playing with beginners. For one, there's beginner's luck. Last night we were teaching, teaching for crying out loud, our friends to play, and H went out nearly immediately betting on pocket aces (and another on the table, so three Aces) when the beginner got a flush (pocket hearts and three hear...

Taco Bell, my biggest competition for my husband's palate, has this fairly new greeting at the drive-through: "Hi, how are you doing," the monotonic minimum wage worker asks. It's not a question. Not, "Welcome to Taco Bell. May I take your order?" But one has to wonder about the new greeting, do they really care? No, they don't. They want the money. Taco Bell is not and never will be known for its friendly workers; it will, alas, always be known for hiring minimum wage high school, c...

Okay, this is JU specific. These are the people on JU that I'm thankful for--and they're off the top of my head, for the most part, which means I'm likely to leave people out. Don't be offfended--I have a terrible memory. Also I think I have all these genders straight, and if I don't, I'm terribly, horribly, no-good, very badly embarrassed about it. *ahem* I'm thankful for... BlueDev, 'cause he's a medical student and a helluva funny guy, even if he is a bit of a points cow. I like...