Preface: I am married, happily so. Story No. 1: Recently, whilst walking down a hallway at work, my thoughts on the possibility that I wouldn't have to wait for someone else to evacuate the washroom, I happened to pass a very attractive man. He works in another part of the building so I barely knew he existed. Anyway. So I'm walking, I see him, and bam! it's a crush.* Just walking, minding my business, and then crush. Story No. 2 (and even more pathetic): H showed me something o...

Once upon a time there was a Bride. Bride got engaged to Groom. As soon as the ring was on her finger, Bride knew she wanted to get married at the rooftop restaurant where Groom proposed: under the stars, with a string quartet and Pachabel's Canon in D and a fluffy tulle gown and a seven-course dinner of lobster and baby cow. When she contacted Rooftop's manager, he said, "Sure, no problem, but our guest limit is 50 people." In spite of coming from highly procreative families, Bride dec...

Does adding the tag "just kidding" to an insult make everything better? I give you my sister-in-law (SIL): She's in college and has a severe case of what I call Youngest Child Syndrome. Basically, YCS means you get away with a lot of crap the older kids wouldn't get away with--you're more independent and opinionated. And then there are those who get away with it unchecked for so long that they don't know the difference between politeness and rudeness. My in-laws may call SIL "independent" and...

I have a beef with a particular aspect of feminism--a small beef, perhaps veal--but beef nonetheless. It's when a married couple for whatever reason doesn't have the same last name (generally speaking, when the wife keeps her name); specifically, when the wife gets very upset by being incorrectly addressed. For example, I have two friends, we'll call them John Smith and Jane Andrews, who have been married for three years now, and they have separate names, not because Jane was established i...

Two weeks ago my friend was killed in a car accident. I just found out tonight, and then I had to be the one to call my best friend, his ex-girlfriend, and tell her. She was very calm about it. And after I told her everything I knew, which wasn't much, we were just quiet for a long time. What do you say? Neither of us wanted to stay on the line but then there's that moment when you hang up and the world has shifted entirely and it seems to hold one fewer friend than it had moments before. I d...